Planet Hulk: The Review

I can imagine these Cartoon Movie execs sitting around in the " Marvel Bullpen" or "Geek Headquarters" as I like to call it.  Talking about this movie.  " OKay.. the First Hulk Movie sucked... only Umer liked it... the Second one sucked less but since the FIRST one sucked so MUCH and Ewward Norton seemed to hate it too; people didn't bother seeing our second mildly reduced sucky film,  NOW!.. How do we Market a giant Green Monster in a Post Shrek Movie Marketplace? I NEED IDEAS people!!!!

What-da-ya-GOT?!

".. ehhhh... WHy dont we take a movie.. that ALREADY Exists... and instaed of whom ever is the star of that movie; we'll put the HULK in it!!!!!"

I Like the way you think Oliver,  NOW!.. the question is!!!..... What Movie do we want to rip off?!

"OH!!... Lets do Bridges of Madison County!!!.. The Hulk Crash lands in a small farm town outside New Jersey, where he falls in love with an out of touch farmer played by Clint Eastwood; the two solve crimes together while riding around in their motorcycle and Side Cart"

Hm.... obviously you've never seen BMC; I like the idea; but lets leave that one open for a Fantastic 4 Sequel. 

(The Only Super Heroes my Parents are Cooler Than)

Now then... How do we Sell This Hulk Cartoon?..

OH!!!.. lets just stick Hulk in the Gladiator movie?!...

WHAT?!.. thats less plossible than the Madison County idea?

True; BUT!!.. we can have him fight giant monsters, save a princess!! and RULE THE ROMAN EMPIREEEEE!!!

okay first of all; put your shirt back on.

sorry

Secondly; we neeed to keep him angry at all times otherwise he WONT be the HULK!

c'mon PEOPLE MORE IDEAS!!

OH!!... what if we do like a TWILIGHT  movie where Hulk is a SEXY green vampire?!

.................



YOu know what; i've gotta have this idea submitted by 4:40; Lets do the Gladiator thing.

and THAT is how Planet Hulk was CREATED!

a movie where the Hulk Crash Lands on a foreign world ( courtesy of his SO CALLED friends) the avengers.  Where he Beats the respective asses of: Red Aliens, Blue Aliens, Ant Looking Aliens, Rock Looking Aliens, and Alien Prince and Giant Monsters; all in a script that mostly resembles an excuse for the Hulk to beat the shit out of any/ everything in his presence; but loosely resembles the plot to Gladiator.

($20 says this fight doesn't last longer than it takes you to read this sentence)

With the odd acception that Hulk can not only talk; but maintains an aloof bad ass " "Vind Diesel" like attitude;

What are you rebelling against HULK?!!

*Lights a Cigarettte; takes a puff*

"What-da-ya Got......"

(Hulk!.. youre outta Control!!! LOook I wanan get the guys tha tkilled your partner JUST as bad as YOU DO! but you're not following The Rules!  "Rules?!.. Hulk plays by his OWN rules! ".. you Badge and your GUN... NOW HULK!!!! )

 and annoyingly slow animation the movie was KINDA fun to watch.

But than again i was rasied on Cartoon Violence.  Everything from Ninja Turtles right up until the Batman Animated Series.  So any comic inspired cartoon is going to get a sit through from me.

(Is Michealangelo Winking at me?)

But for the average non-hulk/ non-cartoon enthusiast this movie is a definant (and some what boring) pass.

but me?

2.5 Not so Jolly Green Giants out of 5!