28 Wisdoms From a 28 Year Old Boy

1.) Cartoon Movies are awsome: The Incredibles, Cars, Shrek, Finding nemo. Stop acting your age and go see them now!

2.) Women are beautiful. Any man who kisses another man is an idiot. (err.. other than for experimental purposes.. or just practice)
3.) Street Fighter 2 is the best video game ever created.

4.) There are a two essential ways to live your life:

i.) have all the toys; and play none of the time

II.) have none of the toys, and play all of the time.


5.) In the end everyone will look like someones grandparents, so love someones soul.

6.) by the year 2079 you will be able to purchase a wife on " the internet V: Steve Jobs Jr.s Revenge". The purchase plan will allow the user to set the soon to be Mrs. apperance to their exact specification. Shipping and Handling will be free. Use bleow coupon code for free DD upgrade and 20% second purchase: XDDBOING79

7.) The opposite of Love is not Hate.. it is Indiferrence.

8.) There is no such thing as cool. It is a false image perpetuated by several commercial industries to encourage spending to reach a false ideal standard. In reality everyone trips over their shoe laces, reads comic books, or has accidentally farted in public. The sooner you realize you are NOT cool, and accept who you truly are the sooner you will enjoy life more.
9.) food never tastes as good as it smells

10.) The World will never remember your name. Do you remmeber Bill Russel? The name of the 17th president of the United Sates? My point is.. if you are going to do anything do it for yourself. Not the fame.


11.) Terminator 2: Judgement day is the best movie of all time.
12.) A man in excellent shape with a T shirt and Jeans has a more impressive physical apperance then a man with the latest designer clothes on who is in poor shape.

13.) If you do something you love you never have to work a day in your life. However, more likely then not other people want to do the SAME THING that you love doing because they love doing it also. This breeds competition. THUS in order to do something you love you must work very hard to beat out said competition. Vis Vee: You have to work very hard to never work a day in your life.

14.) To try your best at something and do poorly is not a failure. To never try is a failure.

15.) The world will laugh at you if you fail, and laugh with you if you suceed, but the worlds laughter can never hurt if you learn to laugh at yourself. Also the word laugh should be spelled "laff" or " laph".

16.) flip flops are gay

17.) Jokes are like UFO sightings; hilarious in real life.. but extrodinarily difficult to catch on film "you had to be there"

18.) You are not saving any money by purchasing $5.00 worth of gas on Monday and another $8.00 worth of gas on Thursday. Fill up your tank.

19.) "could have, should have, and would have" should be eliminated from the english language as it ensinuates the ability to go back in time to change the past. without the advancement of Doc Browns time machine the human being can only look to their past and look at the history of their accomplishments and follies and LEARN from them. Learn from your past to create your future.

20.) "reading is the single greatest accomplishment of humanity" the ability to learn through visual symbols, denoting histories experiences".. dont belive me?.. fine..

lets say you wanna build a house..... w/o reading anything?... get STARTED!

lets say you wanna build a house.. and you go to architectural school<--- is that what its called?.. and you read about frank loyd right and other architects.. by READING their trials and ERRORS you in a sense take on t heir personas and look through their eyes. benefiting from their sucesses and avoiding their failtures. <--- Im not sure if sawing a lady in half is magic.. but im sure THAT is.

21.) The most important questionw you will ever ask yourself is "why?"

- want to drink? no?... "WHY?"

-want to smoke? no? "why?"

-want to cut your hair this way ? "WHY?"

-you like that song?" WHY?"

to answer the great " whys" of life is to define ones identity. The sooner you can answer every why in a stream lined semi- non-contadictory manor you have defined yourself as a human being and as an individual.

22.) Life is not a battle of "good" and "evil" anymore. with modern convienences and scientific advancements it is a question of "character" or "convienence" (convienence vs chracter) dont get it?

- lets say you sell you discover Bannas in say Guatamala, and you want to export them to the United States? and your making BILLIONS upon BILLIONS Of dollars.. now THATS convienent

- lets say the Guatamalan indeginous people want a peace of the deal, you have poor moral CHARACTER, and want to keep that money for yourself instead of sharing. So you wage a genoicdal war on "The Banana Republic".

23.) Boobs are good.

24.) Not unlike the Jungles of Africa; the Public Restroom is a strange and untamed place where shocking experiences can happen on a whim, and unexpected occurences are expected.

25.) The Nike Swoosh is the coolest visual cue of all time.

26.) People will always clamour and complain for something new. But when you give them something new they will claimour and complain about how wierd it is.

27.) falling asleep is AWSOME.. waking up SUUUUUuuuuuuucks!!!

28.) There is no need to try to " fit in" bc there is nothing to " fit into" aside for your grave.

You Know He's Gay Right?

So a friend of mine has got some pretty close connects to Hollywod..
[oooooooooooo OOOOOOOO!!!.. does he no Micheal Jordan?]

Mmkay first of all it’s a she,

Second of all Jordan lives in Chicacgo.. not all PEOPLE ON TV live in Hollywood

And third of all don’t interrupt me no more! (god your so rude sometimes!!)

Who is?

YOUUUUUUUU ISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
… anyways.. so she knows whats up on the Hollywood tip right? And its like everytime we Talk I end up being like…..“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAt.. what do you MEAN HE’s GAY!!??.. Isn’t he

MARRIED!?!?”

Now I KNOW what your thinking.. “ uh.. duh.. u didn’t KNOW he was Gay?!..

you know what?

NO!!!

NO!!.. I didn’t!!

And You know what else?

I DON’T LIKE BEING LIED TO!

EXCUSE ME for believing EVERYTHING A movie TELLS ME….

If a legend is blowing away Zombies with a shotgun; im not going to question weather or not he’s going home to his boyfriend instead of Jayda

If John Tucker pulls so many chicks he’s going to die … im not going to second guess if he washes his mouth out 50 million times like ‘ aughh I had to kiss a girl.. and I hate kissing girls…… also I hate that Katie Perry song “ I kissed a girl and I like it”.. kissing women is DISGUSTING it gives me nightmares’”

When Magneto uses his power of Magnetism to destroy the X men; you don’t assume he’s using that SAME power to undo some dudes belt buckle

Now.. belive me (or don’t.. I don’t care) when I tell you I’ve got nothing against the Gays… well except maby watching them make out.. (maby I should stop watching broke back mountain)

Anyways….

I Like my Actors playing these Pivotal roles (especially child hood classics or American Icons) to be SOME WHAT authentic!!

Zia.. it’s a movie.. its not SUPPOSED to be REAL!!!!

FINEEEEEEEE!!!

GRANTED I know a 65 year old Sylvester Stallone can’t beat up a 24 year old Dolf London.

I know Daniel Radcliff doesn’t really Know Wizard magic,

and I KNOW Arnold Swarchenaggar isn’t a time traveling robot from the future sent back to the past to protect john connor the last general of the Human resistence.. ( or IS HEEEEEEEE!!!)

The Idea of the Protaginist in any story is the idea that you have to become close to them. And at that point it sometimes becomes blurred who the person is,, and who the character is. The protagonist is responsible for leading you into the story; introducing you to other characters, and in essence being YOU! In the best movie the characters identify with the main character SO MUCH they cry when something bad happens to him / her because they feel like they ARE that person in THAT story..

And to find out that person is gay… it kind of kills the whole concept that the movie has set up (unless the main character was gay to begin with).. not bc “eww that gross” but because its like.. “ oh…. Man.. I .. I thought I KNEW “

As a director you want your protagonist to be as close to or “act” as close to the intial vision of the story as possible. And if the actor has a drug habit, a horrible divorce track record, even has done some jail time it may tarnish the film, (or actually add to it).. but being Gay? And playing certain roles? Its just too big of a leap…

I don’t want my protagonist to be all.. “ okay Jake.. time to suck it up.. and method act.. I KNOW kissing Angelina Jolie is ABSOLUTLEY DISGUSTING.. but suck it up an DO IT.. you’re a professional for god sakes!!!”

If I were a director..and im casting for one of my joints.. Im going to be like.. Hey.. are you Gay?... because listen… no offense… I know Captain America Looks Gay?.. but he’s not… and if it comes out that You are GAY.. but you some how got the Role of captain America anyways?.. I’m

Gonna get FIRED!

So if you are Thank you for your time.

Oh ZIA…. That’s not fair!!

Uhh.. yeah it is… check it… say there shooting a 2pac shakur movie…. If Jim Carrie showed up

would he get the part?..

Lets say we’re shooting a Bruce Lee Movie.. do you think Chris Tucker could show up for the role? ( actually that would be awesome) but NO!

But that’s different?

Why?.. bc gay can be hidden?.. and I can be lied to?..

Well what if I DON’T LIKE BEING LIED TO?!

Ya dig?

11 Reasons Why My I Phone is Better Than Whatever the Crap It is that YOU OWN!

1.) I can play Piano in the Bathroom 2.) I know that Spiderman 4 is coming out Dec.28th; I know GI Joe is coming out August 7th and I know Transformers is coming out June 26th. And YOU still havn't seen Rush Hour 2
3.) Jelly Car; Jelly Car JELLY CAR!
4.) My I phone is like wine, wait.. like a watch.. My I phone gets better with time like a WATCH! Its More Helpful now than it was 6 Months ago; and if History serves us correctly. It'll be even MORE helpful 6 months from now.
5.) Its named after a Fruit not a Berry

6.) Its Touch screen OR NO SCREEN AT ALL!
7.) I know its 39 Degrees and raining in Huntsville Alabama rigggggggggggght NOW. 8.)They're Delicious in Cake Form
9.) I can see your house from here
10.) I can tell you where Every Arby’s in America is
11.) Is that a Computer in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

You Are What You Wear

You ever think about clothing desingers?.. I mean you hear the name Tommy..and you think.. aughh man.. thats sick!.. and you automatically think of this logo?

When I was younger i LOVED tommy Hilfiger and I always wanted to Rock some Versace Like i used to see 2pac do it..
but.... isn't it kinda wierd that Calvin Klein, Tommy Hillfiger, and Ralph Lauren PUT their names on YOUR clothes? but you never see THERE faces?.. and your not really sure who THEY ARE?

I dont know I mean.. what if Tommy Hilfiger is a racist; what if Calvin Klien is a Coke head? What if Ralph Lauren is a dork?...

and YOU dont KNOW any better.. and your rocking their ISH?!

Brands like Stussy; and Nike dont refrence a particular individual... they refrence a culture life style; so you dont have to worry about if the LOGO that your rocking is some dude who got kicked outta the Army bc he was such a loser.... Yves St. Laurant endorses his own suits... and YOU rock Yves St. Laruent... then Yves St. Laurant endorses you.... . And in turn YOU endorse Him! and my thing is.. I dont want to endorse ANYONE that I know nothing about. Or that I think is a major Dork...

Air Jordan?.. the dude one 6 champions, 2 slam dunk contests, and is widely considered to be the best in the game. WTF has Mark Jacobs Done?
Sean John is a Hip Hop Mogul, who was the producer for one of the great MCs of all time. What has Tom Ford Accomplished? <--- well he did dress Daniel Craigs James Bond.. thats actually pretty awsome..

I like to rock my Logos like a Badge of Honor: yeah it took me 70 bucks to get this but I rock it.. and it means something to me!

Marc Ecko cares about every stich of clothing like his tailor great grand father did before him. I rock that logo like I love it. Im not saying " Dont rock some of these boojie Designers" nah.. kuz sometimes they come up with the BEST STUFF and its HARD nay IMPOSSIBLE to hate on..

all im sayin is soem of the coolest "names" in the fashion industry can be some of the BIGGEST DORKS IN THE WORLD!

and you as the consumer have the RIGHT to know what some of these doosh bags look like b4 you rock their gear. So I do this NOT to hate on anybody.. but to better let YOU the consumer make a better decision:

here are pictures of your favorite Designers:Tommy Hilfiger (Hi GUYS!!!.. who wants to come to my house to Play some Cheezits and eat some Parcheesy!.... wait) Calvin Klein: (ahhhh... and now some thinking time in the Calvin Cave... you mean your ancient greek themed Gay Bar?......... Yes.) Ralph Lauren: ( Aughhhhhhhhhh GLAYVIN.. I love the FAYSHIns GLOOVIN but I hate the pretty GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-UUUUUUUUUUUUURLS!!! Glag- HAYVEN!!!) Marc Jacobs (I think he Might be Gay... why bc he's kissing another man?.. no bc he has a sponge bob square pants tatoo) Yves Saint Lauran:( Vood Joo Like for me too make Joo a Zoot?)Tom Ford: (oooo...look at me.. im Tom Ford.. .im so... hm... ALRIGHT FINE TOM FORD IS AWSOME!) but is he THIS AWSOME?

The Answer: ... uh... Maby.

Holla!