The Six Movies of Xmas!

wasssssssssssup world?!..and a belated merry X mas!!!..... Isn't it wierd that they changed they replaced the " Christ" in Christmas with "X'mas?" Do you think this was a commercial Ploy to remove the Religious undertones of the holiday allowing more people of different ethnicities to to celeberate? Or do you think Jesus was the original X man and everyone just new " x' was synonmous with Jesus?

I mean turning water into wine is a pretty awsome super hero power?

HMMMM..... interesting.. i mean its not like Christmas is such a LONG word to spell you know?.. i mean what about "Thanksgiving"?.. they dont call that like.... Thnxgiving.. errr... do they? Hmm. im not sure... .. or V-day.. instead of valentines day?.... oh I think they do that too..also...

(INALLLY.. someone has the Courage to STAND up AGAINST Valeintines DAY!!! )

alright.. well.. MABY I dont have a point..

but i DO have some REVIEWWWSSSSS!!!!

while you LOSERS were stuffing your Xmas Goose and spending time with your " families".. i was engaging in the TRUE meaning of Xmas!!.. to watch HELLA movies for the price of one ticket... and boy did I come away BIG!!!!...Ay Teeko?


"merry Xmas everyone!!!"

okay Teeko its spelled " xmas" just kuz im being lazy.. but its not pronounced " ex-mas"
....

" and where are your pants?"

anyways.. Santa blessed me with seeing the BELOW movies for the price of 1 ticket...

1.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button ( Awsome)
2.) Spirit ( WTF?)
3.) Valkerie ( Snoooooze)
4.) 7 Pounds ( VERY cool)
5.) Bed Time Stories (mehh....)
6.) The Day the Earth Stood Still ( I've already scene independence day)

im not the review in 3 words in paranthesis type... soo... LETS DOOOOOOO THISSSSS!!!!!

... uh.. why are you taking off you're pants?.. im... uh.. talking about reviewing these movies..

(ahh!.. i KNEW this picture would come in handy again!)

\hy!.. dont be embaressed.... YOUR just not my type?
uh?.. what?.. OH!.. no.. i dont mean to offend you?

.... whats wrong with you?... hm.. .. well your a man for starters.


thats one "branch" i dont think i could swing around"

ZIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!

.. alright im an idiot...

lets REVIEW IT UP!!!

The First Film of Christmas: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

This movie is FREAKING DOPE!!... I couldn't enjoy it FULLY... bc I KEPT thinking to myself.. " how is all this going to end.. " how AWSOME.. is this movie REALLY going to be!?...."


but in the end it DEFAINTLEY is awsome.. im not saying.. you know like.... I cried.. a bunch of times....or.. u know...anything like that.... but..


fellaz.. if your takin your chicks to see this. you may want to like.. see it B4?!.. hand.. so that you know.. like.. when the sad scenes come up or what not?.. like.. YOU wont be all like..


" nah.. girl..... Its the onions.. in my popcorn.. thats all"..


Anyways.... Brad Pitt.. did a FANTASTIC JOB!... how do you act like a 95 year old man with the intellect of a 5 year old?....


ME NIETHER!!??... but apparently Brad Pitt knows!!..


also that chick um... Kate Blanchet.. was looking REALLLY good... when she was suposed to... great on screen chemistry..
this is going to be like... Brad Pitts " Forest Gump" or.... whatever " Big Fish" was to " Tim Burton"..

Granted I dont have a billion dollar Button Factory.. but this movie REALLY makes me want to like.. live life to its Fullest and dump Jennifer Anniston and get with Angelina Jolie!!!

.. oh wait..


thats the curious case of "Brad Button"

anyways...

this is just a beautifully written, wonderfully told.. slightly crazy.. but excellently presented story.

Watch


This


Movie.

http://www.sazze.com/products/the-curious-case-of-benjamin-button/19932

The Second Film of Christmas: The Spirit

You ever dated... like a SUPER attractive chick?(no)..

LET ME FINISH!!

You ever dated... like a SUPER attractive chick?.... but like.. she's dumb like a box of grade C Winchester Wyoming Oranges?....

ehhh........no?

....

well me NEITHER>.. but THATS what this Movie was like..

The film.. was visually breathe taking.. I mean i could NOT take my EYES off it.. the EXCELLENT play of harsh black white contrasts with touches of sharp red, and shadow?.... its like Director Frank Miller.. thought about EVERY Scene in his head OVER AND OVER AND OVER again before even STARTING this movie. To get THE most AMAZINGly well composed shots POSSIBLE!


but you know what he didn't think twice about?.. the Dialog?. and what else?.. who the F*ck would WATCH this movie!!.. if you've got a guy named " Octopus"? no one is going to take your film seriously..

"oh its a comedy is it?".. oh okay. fine.. let me ask you this.. who are you marketing this too.... bc... the subject matter isn't geared to children... and its not funny to adults... so basically what you've got is a beautiful film that no body wants to date.... -i mean-.. watch!
Its not all bad though.. the movie had some interesting concepts and themes.. but hey man..when your having Samuel L Jackson dress up like a Nazi, a Samuri and a Cowboy....

it doesn't matter how strong your ideas are..

YOUR MOVIE SUCKS!!

if your a huge art fan check it out... but dont expect a well told or even REMOTELY intresting story..


double thumbs down for whoever played spirit.. the person who was supposed to CARRY this peice of JUNK really sucked any POSSBILITY of believability right out..

I Pronounce this Movie DOA.

stick do what you do "FM" and stop trying to be funny..

http://www.sazze.com/products/the-spirit-2008-theatrical-release/19933

The Thrid Film of Christmas: Valkyrie

err.. however you spell it... alot of people feel Tom Cruise is hard to like.. " get over" bc he's so regonizable in this film, and so wierd these days in real life...
well.. i didn't really have a problem with that.. what i DID have a problem. is watching like 2 hours of tom and company trying to stage a " coo" (LOL...thats a hilarious word.. i dont thinkhats how you spell it though..)

but the THING is.. I dont wanna watch Tom as Colnel Von Furstinburg trying to get Hitler to sign papers for 45 minutes....

Hello Colnel FurstenBurg... you didn't remember to put a cover sheet oonce von TPS reports..

sorry Hitler.. it wont happen again!

eitherway.. the point is.... We KNOW from History that Hitler killed himself; and that he had a SMALL mustache.. THUS; we KNOW the protaginist plot in this film will fail.


-Thats Stike 1


now you couple a obviously failed "coo" (heh heh) with an abundance of confusing paper work and muddled administrative tasks and you've got strike 2


Now you mix THAT in with slow story teller / director Bring Singer and you've got a slow, paper work filled, history inspired FAILURE ( hmm.. sounds kind of like my life) - STRIKE 3!


I think this film did the BEST it could given the story chosen.. and its VERY interesting to see the inner workings of trying to see how someone would go about over throwing a government.
But with SOO much working against it.. and the OBLIGATION of having to tell a story historically accuratley.. you've gotta ask yourself "Why did this movie get made"

check it out of your a history Buff, or just another Hitler fan!

but me?.. i'd hit the button on the alarm clock..

this this flick is a "SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZER"


-good one Zia!

http://www.sazze.com/products/valkyrie/19934

The Fourth Film of Christmas: 7 Pounds

Absolutley fantastic!

NOBODY plays nice guy like Will Smith.. he's not that good at playing a hard role in the sense that his character is emotionally closed off in some instances..

but as a whole.. this movie is unique, interesting, emotionally charged, and just a BEAUTIFUL story..

(ahhh you said beautiful you'r gay)


damnit!!!.. my articulation has broughten my hetero-street credibility into play once again

augh!!

I know how to redeem myself!!: im SO crushing on Rosario Dawsome.... she is Such a little on screen Gem..
"little on screen GEM?!!.. you are such a dork".

.... damnit!!

You know..... I dont think the draw of this movie is like... the " movie stars".. is that you always like to see "good" in television or movies..

I mean Will Smith, Woody Harilson, Rosario, and whom ever else is in it... like.. they all are just GOOD people.. and they do GOOD deeeds.. and its i dont know.. just fun , and heart warming to watch..people to be GOOD to each other in desperate or trying times.


The movie doesn't TOTALLY reveal itself until the last frame of the last Scene..

beatufiuly put together, excellent non linear story telling, and well written, but with a touch of CLASSIC Will Smith humor. Although i was NOT really happy with his hair cut.. but i'll make peace with that....

I think Will Smith Deserves an Oscar nod for this one!

Oh.. for 7lbs?

uhh.... no... for The Fresh Prince of Bel Air....

definatley check it out w/ your girl..or your whole family.. for a good 'ol cinematic emotional Charge!
you know.. i NEVER did find out WHY it was called 7 pounds though.. HMMMMmm!!!

(Bonus Shot)

holler at me if you know?!

http://www.sazze.com/products/7-pounds/19935

The Fifth Film of Christmas: Bed Time Stories

BED TIME STORRRRRRRIEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeezZZZ!!

......................... I dont know why i just did that..

I just think it would be funny of some efeminate gay dude said that ( err however you spell efiminate)

look at..

this movie is SUPER SIMPLE..


this guy (Adam Sandler) tell his kids bed time stories,

and the stories come true in real life..

if that doesn't make sense to you?..

your over thinking it.

if you like Adam Sandler; you'll like this.. although its a bit watered down since Disney sort of had its hand in it.. ( and they could also make a CRAZY amusement park ride based on its plot).
It was still good.. a couple of fart jokes, some silly voices, a little Corny side kick goofin around courtesy of Elton Brand? Its no where neither captures the surprising emotional charge of "click" (which is what I think Landed Adam this job) - I want a remote that 'll eventually give me a heart attack on the hospital floor..... sounds USEFUL) and the movie obviously doesn't come close the the classicly crude comedic stylings of Happy Gilmore or top 10 quotable Billy Madison


"Shampoo is Betta..... I clean the hayea.."

" no Conditioner is betta!.. i make hte hayer Sillky and SMOOooooth"

"OH REALLY FOOOL?!"

....

what was i talking about again?

oh yeah!!!

Bed Time Stories is definatley a fun movie, with some good laughs.. but very watered down main stream.. but if you KNOW 'ol Addy... you can catch a SLIGHT hint of some old school Bill Madison inspired humor see it w/ your kids, or w/ your buddies..

nothing TOOo great hear.. definatley can wait for DVD..

http://www.sazze.com/products/bed-time-stories

The Sixth Film of Christmas: The Day the Earth Stood Still

"hmm.... are aliens TRULEY the evil ones?"

or are we as humans so fearful of what we DO not know.. that we are SELVES are the TUREEEEE aliens HMMMMMmmmmm?????

MMMMMM??!!

ehhhhhh!!!

AHHHHHHHHHhhh!!!!


LOL... thats kinda how the plot goes.. i mean.. it was a cool idea.. but its super layered under hella special effects dramatic army confrontations, and some guy who's like

" DEAR GOD mr. PRESIDENT!!!.. if my calculations are correct.. - and I wear glasses so they always are- We have.... 24. 97 seconds to LIVE!!!!"

LOL.. it was also funny bc they didn't actually SHOW the president?.. instead they only have secretary of defense played by " cathy bates"

.. you know.. in retro-spect in cases of pending alien invasions? I hope Obama doesn't leave all decision making to Hilary Clinton...


Bc Cathy Bates is a real BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WORD!!.. and I dont mean Bitch..if you know what im saying?

... uh.. if you dont mean bitch? .. then i DONT Know what your saying..

oh no.. wait... i DOOOO mean bitch then....

or as the kids say theese days.. " BEEEE-OOOOOTCH"

nah.. but forreal it was actually remotley interesting.. Jennifer Connley is Beautiful, Keanu Reeves is excellent at playing an emotion-less Drone, and Will Smiths son learns the true spirit of christmas.



This was basically Independence day w/ a little less special effects, a 40 foot robot, and alot more heart. OH!!..and like.. robot Killer bees.. that was kinda cool...

Even though this is BIG budget Hollywood.. i really enjoyed the underlying themes of the movie.. i thought they were pretty interesting. Speacial Effects wise?.. i didn't think it was TOOOO awsome..

so if you read the book and your a huge fan of the original.. OR you just like the name "GORT". and you want to hear people say it..

check it out in theatres..

but if you can wait?

.... rental..

http://www.sazze.com/products/the-day-the-earth-stood-still-2008

Batman & Joker Endorsed Sneakers?!

Okay.. so they're not REALLLLY.. endorsed by Batman OR the Joker.... but Nike has put together a couple of sneakers.. that are actuallye endorsed by Lebron and Kobe..

but the COLORWAYS... reflect those of Batman and the Joker..

Interested?...

I DIDN"T think so.. but HERE THEY ARE ANYWAYS!!

OH WOW!!!.. a black shoe.. how ORIGINAL.. you deserve some sort of.. shoe.. design.... award... or something Lebron... SOOOOOooo innovative.. LOL.. but WAIT THERES MORE... check out the little batman logo on the tongue!!

MMMMMM... kay.. now i KNOW I was hating before.. but THATS actually pretty hot.. and makes me RE-think this whole purchase.. THATS SICK!!.. but could the BATMAN himself rock these? umm.... I dont know.. i think so.. maby!!.. actually yeah... thatd be DOPE of BATMAN rocked some Le BRONS HUH?!

Solid Black doesn't put a "SMILE ON THAT FACE?"

check out these Joke inspired Kobes!!!

WHY SO SERIOUS?!.... you think im playin.. lets take another look!still a little un-sure?.. I KNOW.. lets put a JOKER picture.. below for comparison!!

........ okay....now THATSSSSsss sick..

now heres the REAL question... oculd you EVER see the Joker wearing these?

......... prolly not.. but HEY.... I WOULD!!!!

ahh the world of sneakers and super heroes together at last.. very cool stuff.. Thanks for the pics and ideas Nike.. mad LOVE!!

my question is when are they gonna come out with a Riddle Shoe?.. an air force 1 with a bunch of question marks?.. or a " Penguin shoe?.. a size 5 1/2 dress shoe?... NOT like im going to buy either.. just curiuos!

ya dig?

28 Wisdoms From a 28 Year Old Boy

1.) Cartoon Movies are awsome: The Incredibles, Cars, Shrek, Finding nemo. Stop acting your age and go see them now!

2.) Women are beautiful. Any man who kisses another man is an idiot. (err.. other than for experimental purposes.. or just practice)
3.) Street Fighter 2 is the best video game ever created.

4.) There are a two essential ways to live your life:

i.) have all the toys; and play none of the time

II.) have none of the toys, and play all of the time.


5.) In the end everyone will look like someones grandparents, so love someones soul.

6.) by the year 2079 you will be able to purchase a wife on " the internet V: Steve Jobs Jr.s Revenge". The purchase plan will allow the user to set the soon to be Mrs. apperance to their exact specification. Shipping and Handling will be free. Use bleow coupon code for free DD upgrade and 20% second purchase: XDDBOING79

7.) The opposite of Love is not Hate.. it is Indiferrence.

8.) There is no such thing as cool. It is a false image perpetuated by several commercial industries to encourage spending to reach a false ideal standard. In reality everyone trips over their shoe laces, reads comic books, or has accidentally farted in public. The sooner you realize you are NOT cool, and accept who you truly are the sooner you will enjoy life more.
9.) food never tastes as good as it smells

10.) The World will never remember your name. Do you remmeber Bill Russel? The name of the 17th president of the United Sates? My point is.. if you are going to do anything do it for yourself. Not the fame.


11.) Terminator 2: Judgement day is the best movie of all time.
12.) A man in excellent shape with a T shirt and Jeans has a more impressive physical apperance then a man with the latest designer clothes on who is in poor shape.

13.) If you do something you love you never have to work a day in your life. However, more likely then not other people want to do the SAME THING that you love doing because they love doing it also. This breeds competition. THUS in order to do something you love you must work very hard to beat out said competition. Vis Vee: You have to work very hard to never work a day in your life.

14.) To try your best at something and do poorly is not a failure. To never try is a failure.

15.) The world will laugh at you if you fail, and laugh with you if you suceed, but the worlds laughter can never hurt if you learn to laugh at yourself. Also the word laugh should be spelled "laff" or " laph".

16.) flip flops are gay

17.) Jokes are like UFO sightings; hilarious in real life.. but extrodinarily difficult to catch on film "you had to be there"

18.) You are not saving any money by purchasing $5.00 worth of gas on Monday and another $8.00 worth of gas on Thursday. Fill up your tank.

19.) "could have, should have, and would have" should be eliminated from the english language as it ensinuates the ability to go back in time to change the past. without the advancement of Doc Browns time machine the human being can only look to their past and look at the history of their accomplishments and follies and LEARN from them. Learn from your past to create your future.

20.) "reading is the single greatest accomplishment of humanity" the ability to learn through visual symbols, denoting histories experiences".. dont belive me?.. fine..

lets say you wanna build a house..... w/o reading anything?... get STARTED!

lets say you wanna build a house.. and you go to architectural school<--- is that what its called?.. and you read about frank loyd right and other architects.. by READING their trials and ERRORS you in a sense take on t heir personas and look through their eyes. benefiting from their sucesses and avoiding their failtures. <--- Im not sure if sawing a lady in half is magic.. but im sure THAT is.

21.) The most important questionw you will ever ask yourself is "why?"

- want to drink? no?... "WHY?"

-want to smoke? no? "why?"

-want to cut your hair this way ? "WHY?"

-you like that song?" WHY?"

to answer the great " whys" of life is to define ones identity. The sooner you can answer every why in a stream lined semi- non-contadictory manor you have defined yourself as a human being and as an individual.

22.) Life is not a battle of "good" and "evil" anymore. with modern convienences and scientific advancements it is a question of "character" or "convienence" (convienence vs chracter) dont get it?

- lets say you sell you discover Bannas in say Guatamala, and you want to export them to the United States? and your making BILLIONS upon BILLIONS Of dollars.. now THATS convienent

- lets say the Guatamalan indeginous people want a peace of the deal, you have poor moral CHARACTER, and want to keep that money for yourself instead of sharing. So you wage a genoicdal war on "The Banana Republic".

23.) Boobs are good.

24.) Not unlike the Jungles of Africa; the Public Restroom is a strange and untamed place where shocking experiences can happen on a whim, and unexpected occurences are expected.

25.) The Nike Swoosh is the coolest visual cue of all time.

26.) People will always clamour and complain for something new. But when you give them something new they will claimour and complain about how wierd it is.

27.) falling asleep is AWSOME.. waking up SUUUUUuuuuuuucks!!!

28.) There is no need to try to " fit in" bc there is nothing to " fit into" aside for your grave.